It was a Roast for roasting Roasters, also Justin Bieber was there.
Is it just me or is the name that follows “The Roast of” just a celebrity endorsement to get millions of people to watch comedians make fun of each other? Now, this is not something I am opposed to, which is why I decided to highlight the best Roasters Roasting Roasters jokes of the night.
“Martha do us a favor and put your ankle bracelet on vibrate so we don’t have no problems.”
“I’ve been watching these roasts since I was 9 and what’s happening to you Jeff? You look like someone put Seth Rogen in the microwave.”
“Martha’s so old her first period was the Renaissance.”
“You might know Ludacris from your Mom’s ‘That’s What I Call Music’ CD.”
“Let’s give it up for Shaq! Thanks for being here and taking a break from throwing barrels at Super Mario…I’m sorry, please don’t eat me.”
“You know Kevin is actually going to be on the next season of Game of Thrones, he’s playing Peter Dinklage’s shadow.”
“Kevin has a Napoleon complex. Kevin, Napoleon was the leader of France. Ludacris, France is in Europe. Justin, Europe’s a continent. Shaq, a continent is not a free breakfast.”
“When I first met Hannibal I was like, ‘You are going to be a star’ and when I first met Kevin I was like, ‘No, I don’t want to buy a candy bar to support your local after school program.’”
“Snoop you look like Shaq’s skeleton.”
“Jeff, how am I the one who played 19 seasons, but you’re the one who looks like he took 20 years of elbows to the face?”
“Martha Stewart’s here because Paula Deen refused to sit with this many black folk.”
“Snoop…you look like a retired WNBA player.”
“It’s good to see Comedy Central diversifying its talent with whatever race Pete Davidson is. You just look vague man…I don’t like it. I don’t like your face at all. You seem like a nice person, but when I talk to you I don’t have fun.”
“Natasha Leggero is here, which means right now there’s a bachelor party discovering that their cake is empty.”
I would list her jokes, but in true Martha fashion, they are all NSFW.
Justin Bieber came to his own defense at the end stating, “What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”
A special guest also supported the wild ways of the Biebs.